Awesome/Not Awesome (9-30-09)

Originally published 9-30-09

I think I'm only going to do every weekday. The dates correspond to the following day it is posted, so this entry is for Wednesday. Two more this week after this. I can do it.

AWESOME- Woody Harrelson

I love this actor. White Men Can't Jump, Kingpin, even his recent outing in Semi-Pro was good. He seems to play the same guy in every movie he's in, but without that annoyance factor like Ben Stiller. I'm sure Woody's been in other movies where he's been someone else though- I just haven't seen them.

But why I am talking about Woody Harrelson? One word: Zombieland. I don't know why I'm so interested in this movie- it has a Shaun of the Dead-like feel to it (at least that's what I got from the trailer)- but I am guessing it's because late at night, deep into my second REM cycle, I am dreaming about how awesome it would be to see Woody Harrelson killing zombies. This is my Inglourious Basterds. Don't judge.

Anyway, bottom line: Woody Harrelson is the shit. He got so into this role, he attacked a papparazzi member near the set of this movie; after all, our papparazzi are the closest things we have in our society to zombies, so it's only natural. (I'd really like to believe this is why he attacks them. C'mon if you buy into that garbage that Heath Ledger died because he was so into his Joker, then this isn't that big a stretch. And by the way, that's not why Heath Ledger died.)

Zombieland. Woody Harrelson. Yes.

NOT AWESOME- Kanye West

Sticking with celebrities, Kanye West sucks. I know I'm really late with this one, but hear me out. His interruption of Taylor Swift was rude, but it was not evil. People are blowing this out of proportion.

That being said, here's why he's not awesome: I'm upset with anyone that takes Taylor Swift out of focus. The more I get to look at Taylor Swift, the better.

Does anyone else remember when Madonna and Britney Spears made out at one of them Awards shows? Madonna is one of the least attractive, least talented women in the biz today. And Kanye West mosies on up there. How come Beyonce couldn't have gone up there and frenched Taylor Swift? No, we get Kanye. How come THAT couldn't happen? I'd watch that!

But this isn't even my main gripe with Kanye. Yes he's an arrogant asshole, but "Jesus Walks" was awesome. He had a song with Adam Levine (of Maroon 5) and that was also awesome. BUT, the problem is "Stronger", in which he destroyed two great things at once- the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzshe ("Out of life's school of war: What does not kill me makes me stronger") and the song "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" by Daft Punk (off of their album Discovery). That song is the shit, but Kanye's song IS shit.

So he's a terrible person, ruining acceptance speeches of beautiful women and destroying brilliant quotes and songs. How do I express my hatred of him?

Scene: Kanye is making an acceptance speech or is performing. I get on stage and take the mic.

starckie: Okay, Kanye, I'm gonna let you finish, but does your mother's face hurt?

KANYE: No.

starckie: Well, it's killing me! Oh, no, wait, it only killed your mother.

OR

KANYE: Yes.

starckie: Well, it shouldn't, cause she's dead!

Now, that's distasteful. But you know what telling Kanye off like that is also? AWESOME.