Awesome/Not Awesome (10-14-09)

Originally posted 10-14-09

Cutting it close.

AWESOME: Chicago

Don’t get too excited, all 4 of you Renee Zellweger enthusiasts. No I’m not talking about the musical or the movie.

I’m not even talking about the city, although I like the city of Chicago a lot.

I’m talking about the band formed in 1967 (then under the name Chicago Transit Authority) and still going strong. Chicago kicks ass, and you probably don’t need me to tell you.

Oh, no, wait, you DO need me to tell you, because so many kids these days don’t know good music.

Well, here’s your fucking wake-up call, turn off your prerecorded drum machine and looped synth samples and put one of Chicago’s TWENTY-ONE studio albums on. Get ready for some actual music.

You just gotta love their soft rock, jazz, and blues sound they got going on. “Does Anybody Really Know What Time it is?” is a great example of this music at its best.

Now, Chicago, unfortunately but predictably has fallen from popularity since the 70s and 80s, and their incredibly prolific pace of making good music really died out in the mid 90s (although they have still released singles to this day).

I would be nuts to sit here and tell you that Chicago will be mainstream Billboard popular again. But I can damn well try! And here’s how you do it:

Put Chicago songs on Rock Band/Guitar Hero.

Much lesser talent has become repopularized thanks to those games. I’m certain it would work for Chicago (unless it’s been tried already and hasn’t… worked).

My recommendation “25 or 6 to 4”: Rocking vocals, kick-ass guitar and even a lengthy bass solo. There’s so much shit going on it’s hard to pick out the drums at times. Obviously Chicago’s very prominent horn section would not be able to be directly playable, but that’s not a problem.

Am I one of the few members of the current college generation that still respects and listens to this legendary band? Is all hope lost?

Well….. probably. Even though I have to believe everyone in America alive for any period of time between 1967 and the present has listened to a Chicago song, I don’t think there are many people that realize the significance they have to music in general, particularly in America.

They are second only to the Beach Boys in singles and albums (for American bands).

Sigh. Chicago. How I love thee. It’s only the beginning.

Now, I couldn’t just move to the Not Awesome without mentioning this:

Chicago is also responsible for one of the greatest “last words” in the history of the world, and I can only joke about it because I wasn’t alive when it happened:

(Note: It isn’t exactly known what he said, but this is what I’ve always heard)

Founding member of Chicago Terry Kath (1978): “It isn’t even loaded. See?”

You fill in the blanks. Pun intended.


NOT AWESOME: People Who Have Really Intellectual Conversations Really Loudly So As To Draw Attention to Themselves and Their Awesome Minds

“Look at me! I’m smart! We’re smart! We’re debating the existence of God!”

Yeah, great. Could you do it over there?

Now, I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. I love having philosophical conversations, even about things that shouldn’t be discussed philosophically (see: Why I am a Buffalo Bills fan).

Conversations can bring to light your own flaws in logic, while allowing you to hear viewpoints contrary to your own. Maybe evidence will be brought to light so that you decide to change your own personal beliefs about an area.

All this is good.

Now here’s what ISN’T good:

“So yeah this kid’s like well blah blah therefore blah blah empirical blah and I was like ‘bullshit!’ That’s an argument for this not that! I mean, c’mon, what were you thinking?”

“Haha yeah totally that kid has no idea what he’s talking about”

Har-dee-har-har.

Maybe everybody in the room doesn’t give a shit about your conversation. Could you keep it down? If it were something truly important, then feel free to scream it loudly and proudly. For example, if you walk into a room and say:

“President Obama just signed a law that bans the use of silent letters!”

That would be something most people would be interested in. Even if only to say, “why?”

But if you burst into a room and go:

“What is truth?!??!?!?!?! This kid has no fucking idea!”

I’m going to stare at you. And many other people will too. And we will be very angry at you for interrupting our conversation and/or concentration.

Now, maybe you get your kicks out of philosophy, as I occasionally do. That’s good. I’m glad to hear that you’re thinking. But there are other things going on right now, how about some fucking respect?

You know how pissed off people would be at me if I yelled:

I CAN’T FIGURE OUT THE WHY THE POISSON PROBABILITY DISTRIBUTION IS A SHITTY ESTIMATE FOR THE BINOMIAL PROBABILITY DISTRIBUTION! THEY SAID IT WOULD BE BUT IT ISN’T. I’M GOING TO THINK ABOUT IT NOW, AND IF ANYONE WANTS TO JOIN TO THINK ABOUT THE ABSTRACT CONCEPT, THAT’D BE GREAT. MEET ME OVER HERE SO WE CAN YELL ABOUT IT!

That would be shitty, wouldn’t you say?

So keep your Goddamn epiphanies to yourself, ya fuck.

I got shit to do.

These Awesome/Not Awesome’s don’t write themselves you know.

Fucking Goddamn….shit.