Awesome/Not Awesome (10-21-09)

Originally posted 10-22-09

So I'm a little late. Deal with it.

I still love you.

AWESOME: Small talk

This stuff really gets a bad rap. Small talk makes the world go round. The only way you ever get to any meaningful deep conversation is by first engaging in small talk.

Plus, it's fun. See somebody you know- say hi! Talk about all the boring, mundane, nothingness that was today. Usually it's a lot more interesting hear somebody else tell you about their day, too. I'm sure they'd appreciate it.

Even if you don't really care it can STILL be fun. See how long you can keep it going without really saying anything. I think my record for small talk with one person has to be like 2 hours.

Small talk is just one step below bullshitting, and a successful bullshit is fun for everyone 100% of the time. And you can small talk in any situation, too, and most of the time, it's completely acceptable.

"Mrs. Geezer, I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you so much for coming. We appreciate it so very much."

.....
........
............

"How are the kids?"

"Well, our son Walter just got the manager position at the Piggly-Wiggly."

"Oh, great!"

I know everyone has had or heard someone have a conversation like this.

And if not, I'm sorry, cause they're great. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

But I know what I'm not- bored.

Small talk. Shit's great.

No, actually, it's awesome.


NOT AWESOME: 2012

I am pissed off.

Before I talk about the movie itself, I have to mention this:

Woody Harrelson is in this.

No!!!!

Now, in case you haven't heard, 2012 is an upcoming disaster movie based around speculation about the end of the world concurrent with the end of the Mayan calendar. I don't profess to know anything about the Mayan calendar thing and how that was derived, but what I do know is this:

People have been predicting the end of the world since it began.

So why, why, why, does this particular one have to be made into a blockbuster movie? What's the appeal? It seems so random, you know? Furthermore, why are people believing that this theory has any credibility to it whatsoever?

I, for one, don't give a shit about the Mayans, or their Goddamn calendar.

The world is just as likely to end tomorrow as it is on December 21, 2012. I mean, why not?

Just because a bunch of people said it would end don't mean shit. And if you buy into that, or this movie as a plausible idea, then you've got to buy into this, too:

I say the world's going to end on February 14th, 2100.

"Valentine's Day". Yes, an alien told me from his spaceship that he made up to look like a room at the Holiday Inn.


Most of those last few lines were taken right out of Ghostbusters II (I changed the year). Do you believe it's going to happen now?

No?

Didn't think so.

And I don't mean to say that the Mayan calendar ending is equivalent in any way to the script of Ghostbusters II. (The script for Ghostbusters II is clearly greater than the Mayan calendar) But how many people would honestly know about the Mayan calendar thing if it weren't for the hype this movie is generating?

Practically nobody!!

So, here's my advice with the 2012 thing:

Get on with your damn lives, and if it just so happens the world's gonna end, it doesn't really matter how much time we had to prepare.

Expect to hear more from me about the sheer bullfuckery of this movie, after I go see it. That's right, I want to see it. Just so I can tell you how much ass it sucked. I need to know if this is going to be worst movie ever made.

You know, now that I think about it, I'm positive that the world won't end in 2012. It can't.

Because 2012 comes out this November (2009).

If the world is going to end in 2012, then they don't have NEARLY enough time to make a sequel!

And everybody knows that's what it's all about anyway- Fucking sequels and the end of the world. Not Awesome.

But not true either, so, whatever.