Awesome/Not Awesome (8-2-10)

Welcome back to another edition of Awesome/Not Awesome! As promised, there will be a new Awesome/Not Awesome EVERY WEEKDAY of this month, so keep coming back readers! If not, then fuck you!

“Last Comic Standing” would be much better if they gave the comedians humorous “weapons” and had them fight to the death “Battle Royale” style.

AWESOME: “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor

Everybody knows this song. And everybody should, cause this song kicks ass!
For those of you who don’t know though, “Eye of the Tiger” is the fight song for one of the best sports movies of all time, Rocky III.

Obviously, being associated with Rocky Balboa and Clubber Lang is a big reason why this song is awesome.

But there’s more to it than that. This song, I think, was solely written for the purpose of getting pumped up and fucking up shit. I mean, shit, just thinking about it makes me wanna go work out.

And I hate working out!

With this song playing in the background, any activity can look awesome, particularly with the intro.

The following is a short list of everyday things that automatically become badass with “Eye of the Tiger”.

1) Getting gas
2) Taking a shower
3) Mailing a letter
4) Brushing your teeth
5) Taking a shit
6) Almost getting hit by a car

This song came on the radio when I was on my way to take my Physics II final exam. And damn it, I’m never been so fucking ready to kick a test’s ass. I was going to make that test my bitch. Yeahh….

Result, you ask?

I aced it. Got an A in Physics II.

Thanks “Eye of the Tiger”!

NOT AWESOME: “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor

This marks a first in Awesome/Not Awesome history. The same thing is both awesome and not awesome on the same day. Cheah.

Wrap your head around that.

But here’s the problem I have with it:

This one song has probably caused the most one-sided, most needless, most senseless fistfights in the history of the universe.

It’s a good thing I was on my way to my physics test and not on my way to say…. The Hardware Bar or some shit like that.

Because

a) I fucking hate the Hardware Bar, and

b) I would have been punching tools left and right

Which would, of course, lead me to leaving the Hardware Bar in a stretcher.

Not that tools can fight, but get a horde of them together, and my prediction: pain (for me).

I cannot be the only person who’s wanted to fight someone or a group of someones, for little to no reason, after hearing that song.

Song’s fucking dangerous!

“Eye of the Tiger” is the only song which seems to be its own cliché or parody. The lyrics are 80s-awesome, but just so damn corny too. It’s somehow overly-manly while still containing the right riffs to make it beloved by all, and having just enough of whatever it is that makes me want to kick somebody’s ass.

Alright, so, you may be asking yourself if the song is both awesome and not awesome…

What is my final verdict on “Eye of the Tiger”?

Still totally fucking awesome. Awesomeness heavily outweighs the not-awesomeness.

So what do I think of the guy who doesn’t like the song, then? Do I hate him?

No, no, I don’t hate him, but I pity the fool.