Guys, if you read this blog regularly and you like it, PLEASE let me know. I know it’s kinda …. Douchebaggy, but you seriously don’t know the thrill I get from people actually reading and enjoying this shitty little blog of mine.
AWESOME: Hot Dogs
With summer winding down, today I pay tribute to the great American classic that is the hot dog.
Hot dogs are made of ….
Beef…
Pork…
…
Dog?
……
What the hell are hot dogs made of?
Well, who the fuck cares! Cause hot dogs kick ASS.
You can put all sorts of shit on hot dogs, ketchup, mustard, relish, pickles, baked beans, nacho cheese, I’m telling you, you name it and it will probably taste good on a hot dog and bun.
(This does not include dipping your hot dog in Schmelch’s Schmape Schmuice.)
I’d estimate that I ate probably 50 of these babies this summer, and THAT’S 50 TOO FEW!
My personal favorite topping for hot dogs is “Texas Meat Sauce” and if you were worried that I didn’t know what hot dogs are made of, then you’re probably sweating bullets because for all I know “Texas Meat Sauce” is made of coyotes, armadillos, and illegal immigrants.
BUT DAMN DOES IT TASTE GOOD!
It’s not too late! Summer’s not over yet! Go out and get yourself some good ass hot dogs!
Make Joey Chestnut proud!
If he can eat 237 of them in 11 seconds, then one of them in 3 months won’t kill you.
Unless of course they use bad illegal immigrant.
NOT AWESOME: Inspirational Quotes
Listen.
We get it, okay.
You have dreams.
And if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything (Dr. Emmitt Brown).
But I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE POST QUOTE AFTER QUOTE OF FEEL GOOD SHIT DAY AFTER DAY WITHOUT EVER DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!
There’s only so many times I can see you write about how you don’t care about what other people think, or about how you’re going to accomplish great things before I start to think you have serious self-esteem or motivation problems.
Now, I don’t mind people who post inspirational quotes and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
I’m not completely against feeling good, or more specifically, other people feeling good.
But for fuck’s sake, at least do something worthy of feeling good before or after.
Plus, inspirational quotes are a dime a dozen, and it’s always the same dozen.
Literally, all inspirational quotes differ only in the most minute details.
AND they’re misleading!
People seem to think that if they suffer enough and believe hard enough that good things are coming, that their hopes and dreams will come true. SIMPLY by reading inspirational quotes, many people think that they can avoid any of the work that comes in feeling good about themselves or finding love or any of that horse shit.
You want to do something then fucking do it. End of story.
If you need a quote to get you started, then God bless.
But don’t fucking play me or yourself. I don’t need it and neither do you.
Cause none of the people who said those quotes stopped after saying them, or accomplished nothing before saying them.
If that were the case, we wouldn’t have the time-traveling DeLorean or George McFly’s successful sci-fi books.
As Virgil said, “They can because they think they can.”
NOW GET OFF FUCKING FACEBOOK AND GO DO IT.
After all, a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single footstep.
And if you won’t take that single footstep, consider this shitty blog post a kick in the ass! Let’s go!
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