Awesome/Not Awesome (8-5-10)

So…. Which channels DON’T have Family Guy airing in syndication? Damn!

AWESOME: Donkey Kong Country Returns

It takes an awful lot to excite me about video games these days. As with most things, I’m ten years behind the times or quite simply I refuse to change.

I don’t own an ipod.

I do however, has a nice little collection of cassettes.

But anyways, video games these days I could give two shits about.

Another first person shooter?

About World War II?

Great.

The gameplay in all those games combined are probably longer than World War II!

However, when Nintendo announced at the annual E3 conference (which stands for …Electronic…3) that they were making a sequel to the Donkey Kong Country franchise, I shit my pants, had a stroke, had a minor heart attack, forgot my PIN number, was late for work, and came up with a convincing proof for the existence of God.

Strangely, I did NOT ejaculate.

But Donkey Kong Country and its sequels make up one of the best series of games in existence. The first game was… the very first game I EVER beat.

Awww… a nerd moment.

But then Donkey Kong Country 2 came out, and HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS IS AWESOME.
DKC2 is my favorite side-scroller of all time. I’ll probably write another awesome about that game in the future- it’s THAT good.

DKC3 wasn’t bad, but it didn’t do the same thing like 2 did for me (which is tough to do, so no biggie DKC3). But sadly, the Super Nintendo was on its way out by that time- DKC3 was the last game I bought new for the SNES.

And it was the end of an era. If I wanted to play a Donkey Kong Country game, it looked like I was just going to have replay the ones I had- which I did.

Several times over.

Donkey Kong 64 was a really good game, but not the same. I need some classic shit.

C’mon!

Flash forward to 2010…. With the success of the Wii’s virtual console, they are releasing new old school games.

Seriously? This isn’t a joke? DONKEY KONG COUNTRY RETURNS!

Oh my fuck, how long have I waited for this day…

Let’s see…. 1996….

Fourteen years. Two thirds of my life.

This game better be fucking good. I’m not going to wait until I’m 35 for another sequel.

Don’t let me down Nintendo! Make it awesome!


NOT AWESOME: Law and Order: LA

Okay, so SVU is Special Victims Unit, CI is Criminal Intent, TBJ is Trial by Jury, and LA is…..

Libel and Assault?

Oh, Los Angeles.

Los Angeles. That’s the best you can come up with.

Is crime THAT much different in LA than NYC that we need another Law and Order to cover it?

I mean with the other spin-offs they focus in specific crimes (SVU) or give a different perspective of the crime (CI, TBJ).

But murder… is murder. LA, NYC,…. Any TV with Jersey Shore on the screen….

But I guess it’s not all that bad. Two Law and Orders? I can get behind that. I love the series.

WHAT?! THE ORIGINAL SERIES WAS CANCELLED!

Oh, yeah I seem to remember crying uncontrollably about that back in May.

WHY GOD, WHY?!

Okay, let’s see here… the ratings weren’t great but still good enough for a 21st season… can’t see any reason why it would canceled…

OH, IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE COMING OUT WITH GODDAMN LAW AND ORDER: LA!

YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, GET RID OF THE STILL SUCCESSFUL SHOW WITH ESTABLISHED CHARACTERS THAT (BY THE WAY) IS ABOUT AS OLD AS ME TO START IT ALL OVER AGAIN IN A DIFFERENT CITY WITH DIFFERENT PEOPLE I CARE NOTHING ABOUT?!

That’s like if they rebooted the fucking Batman series, but instead of Gotham, they set in Charleston, South Carolina.

Eh, it could work, but… why? Why would you fuck with something that’s iconic and that works?

I think Law and Order and I think New York City. End of story.

And to top it all off:

You’re seriously asking me to buy into a new show that killed the original one?

Fuck you guys!

Law and Order! Come back! It’s really not awesome thinking of NBC without you.

I . . . love you.